Today, Inspiration Died.

Posted: May 14, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags:

Those that know me know that today, as an artist, I’m grieving.

H.R. Giger passed away today, and I am filled with a deep sadness for the loss.
I never met the man, never shook his hand or even dared to write him to explain how much of an effect he had on me artistically.

Very few ‘celebrity deaths’ affect me in any true way, but reading the news about HR’s passing this morning damn near made me cry.

When I was younger, I was an avid fan of his art though have lost a number of the collections I had acquired.
In college, I wrote my final thesis on him analyzing his artistic methods, theories and the origins of much of his cinematic work.
After graduating, I dreamed of one day meeting him.

I saw the vast, terrifying biomechanical landscapes of Giger’s imagination as the landscape of my dreams.
I have walked in his shadow, modeling creatures and species after the undulating, elegant and terrible forms of his portraiture.

Imitation, they say, is the highest form of flattery…and now I feel it to be just the cold, dull wanting of daring to dream the dreams of an artistic titan that channeled the cold, the visceral and the macabre into transcendently elegant reality that I will never dare to come near.

Sleep well, my muse, and may the biomechanical hellscapes of your dreams welcome you as their god and their father.
My words and visions will never do you justice, and the world is poorer for your passing.

Advertisements

Dirge

Posted: April 29, 2014 in Creative Writing, Fiction

The Song echoed through the empty passageways of the station. Any other time, these corridors would’ve been bustling and choked with travelers, merchants and military personnel. But now, in this moment, everyone was gone.
There were no merchants or traders jockeying for attention. No travelers lost in the labyrinthine maze of passageways or staring in awe out of the windows that overlooked the shattered world below.
They were all down there on the Dias that stood next to the Chasm, on the orbital platforms that overlooked it, or the smaller orbitals that circled the ruins of the Ring.
C’Th should’ve been with them, lost in the mournful trance of the Dirge, carrying the song to the billions who we’re being remembered today. Instead, C’Th was snaking through the empty crystalline corridors of the Mourn Field Station towards the audience chambers.
‘Urgent Affairs of State’ the song had said, though what could be more urgent than the days observance of the Dirge was beyond C’Th, third facet of J’mon, and the thought was troubling. The Dirge was a sacred rite, one that even the lowest and most roughly hewn Visrullis were encouraged to set aside their daily burdens and attend. It was one of the few days where the Shimmers Dynasty stopped, that its light went from radiant to contemplative in remembrance of when the Ring opened and the swarms of metal monsters came by the millions, descending onto the Grow World below and tearing into its sacred soils and killing entire generations of Visrullis.

“Light embrace you,” the Council greeted as C’Th entered the hall and bow low.
“May it ever illuminate your faces,” C’Th returned, as was proper. “My councilors, I have come as bidden, but am saddened to see so many here rather than observing our sacred duties of remembrance.”

Visrullis did not ‘speak’, but rather communicated through refracted bioluminescence created by colonies of microbes in their crystalline bodies. Their mundane communication was always a silent display of elaborate flashes and patterns of colored light, and their crystalline bodies allowed them to perceive and process light from any angle. Thus, a Visrullis could ‘hear’, process and understand the full context of hundreds of simultaneous conversations at once.

“We are aware of your displeasure, C’Th, and know of your utmost dedication to the Faith. That we would summon you away from Sacred Duty should prove the severity of the situation on its own merit,” The First Councilor said from his dias.
C’Th’s head bowed in solemn acknowledgment, because the councilor was absolutely correct.
“How may I serve?”

A wide facet of one of the crystalline walls glowed, pulsing dimly in a strange pattern that made little sense.
“We have received a transmission from just outside our borders. We believe it to be a distress call.”
The more C’Th watched the pattern, the more the broken patterns of the Visrullis language became vaguely apparent. Help. Stranded. Help. Stranded.

C’Th’s face flickered at the repeating patterns, picking out an occasional extra word, but the bulk was nonsensical gibberish, but was stunned when a single complete phrase flickered through the light.

Rite of Rescue.

“Who has sent this,” C’Th asked, snapping attention back towards the Councilors. “They call for the Rite of Rescue, such a call can not be ignored. It is Sacred Duty.”
The soft, pulsing glow from each councilors betrayed their amusement, but also their concern.
“You are certain of this fact, Third Facet of J’Mon? That the Rite of Rescue is a Sacred Duty, and may not be ignored under any circumstance,” the Second Councilor asked probingly.
C’Th nodded, once, a silent sign of absolute certainty.

The wide glowing facet changed, revealing an view of a solitary vessel drifting and spinning, dead in the vacuum of space.
“Do you recognize this design, Third Facet of J’Mon?”
C’Th approached the wall, raising a seven digit hand and manipulating the image. Rotating and zooming in and out on the dead ship.
“Crude. Ungrown. A mechanical design, doubtlessly from one of the -” C’Th paused, then paused the image and zoomed in very close. Symbols were emblazoned on the side of the vessel. “Lightweb, do a pattern match on these symbols and cross check against records from -”
“Cancel request Lightweb. We know who these aliens are,” the First Councilor spoke again.

C’Th spun, glowing with rage and hate and confusion, glaring up at the Councilors.

“These are the Drone Bringers. The Ring Builders. The ones who smashed the world beneath us.”
“And you haven’t destroyed them? You are certain of this and yet leave them spinning in the black, just outside our borders? What if more come to aid them? Have you taken leave of your senses,” C’Th words flared with the radiance of a star.
“At peace, Third Facet. Even you acknowledge that the Rite of Rescue is Sacred Duty, no matter the circumstance,” The third councilor said now.
The image unpaused and C’Th could see the purposeful flashes from the ships hull and the UV bursts from its comms array every time the ship upended in the direction of the Visrullis border, a pointed attempt to reach them specifically.
“How they know of the Rite of Rescue, we do not know. However, it has been requested, thus is shall be heeded. You are to leave immediately, in your fastest Void Piercer, with a full crew. Render aid to the Drone Bringers, learn what you can.”
“And should we encounter Drones with with,” C’Th’s light was soft and hard to see.
“Then you have authority to defend yourselves appropriately. We are sending a lightwave with all the information we have on the vessel, as well as appropriate protective equipment and atmosphere generators. You will need them.”

C’Th glared at the image once more, the dying craft spinning end over end as it slowly rotated and the symbols came into view once more.

USS Celestial Fortune

Fear Not, For I Am With Thee

Posted: April 21, 2014 in Uncategorized

FEAR NOT MY CHILDREN, FOR I HAVE NOT ABANDONED YOU!

I just work 9 to 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, now.

But the money is good, so it’s really helping us out here at The House of Violent Science.

I will do my best to get back on track this week, we’ve just been exceptionally busy at the shop since my last post.

As a tribute to your dedication, I give you this humble offering…of cool music, a hula hoop, and Burning Man.

(NSFW for bewbs in pasties)

There are days where I wake up and just ask myself, ‘What’s the point?’
Days where I just look at the vast catalog of unfinished projects, unrealized ideas and the daunting grind of making ends meet and wonder why I even bother trying to execute all the things running around my head.

I read over stuff I’ve written and find it shallow, contrite and derivative. I look at art projects and crafts and only see glaring flaws that flash ‘failure’ like neon vegas signs.
I wonder why I even bother.

It’s a constant struggle, and one that I frequently lose.

Today, I’m losing.

And I hate myself for it.

All I’ve ever really wanted was to write, to be successful at it. It’s always been a dream, to create things from the chaos in my own mind and mold them into something that will inspire others, create dreams, generate fantasies. I want to make people throw my book across the room when a character dies, only to race back over to it and keep reading because they want revenge. I want people to fall in love, to yearn for the moment where they can be the perfect voyeur on a single perfect moment between two people. I want to make them cry.

Today, all I’m doing it fighting to keep myself from crying, because I feel like I’ll never be good enough.

4-3-14
6:35am

What the hell is that noise?

7:21am

Low, constant, droning noise. Loud enough to rumble windows.
Radio and television both are strange static.
The girls are both really scared.
Storm is raging out of control, this must be what a hurricane is like.

8:14am

There is something in the clouds.

11:21am
We are hiding in the stairwell of our apartment, it’s the only place away from the windows and where the repetitive droning is somewhat muffled.

You have been deemed a Type 1 Hazardous Species. Your continued advancement is a danger to the communal welfare of multiple advanced civilizations. Your world is hereby quarantined, and your population will be culled to a manageable level.

Jesus. They’re killing us.
People are rioting and panicking outside.
We can hear fighting.
Please, if you’re reading this and they haven’t appeared over your city yet, run. For gods sake, run.
They come with the clouds.

11:41am
We can hear artillery fire.
Something exploded nearby, got brave enough to peek out a window downstairs to make sure we aren’t in danger, it looks like it was a F22. It crashed into the building across the parking lot.

4-2-14
6:55am

Welcome to Southern California where if we have anything other than sunny 80 degree days, all hell breaks loose.

Where the hell do I even start?

We lost power for several hours yesterday, lightning strike took out a major transformer or something. Radio reports are saying that this storm came out of nowhere, and that all the indicators said that such a storm shouldn’t be sustainable, let alone growing. And it is growing, apparently at a ‘frightening rate’. Most of California and Oregon are covered in it now, it’s expected to hit Washington, Nevada and Utah later today.
Elizabeth’s boss called last night and told her to stay home until things get better.
Lexy’s school is canceled because of the hazard.
The Emergency Broadcast Signal is going off every fifteen minutes with flash flood warnings, high surf advisories, mud slide evacuation instructions…
There have been six ‘serious’ slides in the past twenty four hours.
Streets are flooding.

But I still need to go to work.
I shit you not.

Weird side note from yesterday: I don’t know if I just missed it or something, but there were a couple of lightning strikes that didn’t have thunder. I mean, they HAD to have thunder right? You can’t have lightning without thunder, its the way nature works, but I swear there were four or five strikes yesterday where there weren’t. I mean, I guess I could’ve missed them…fifty mile an hour winds can get pretty loud…but one of the strikes was only a block from the shop, I should’ve heard that one.

8:20am

The storm is starting to mess with the radio, must be all the electricity in the air, or that LIGHTNING HIT THE DAMN ROAD 20 YARDS FROM ME ON THE WAY TO WORK. I’m still shaking from that. Winds are really kicking up an causing the clouds to move really oddly, makes some really strange shadows. Creepy.

11:55pm
Massive evacuations underway.
Laguna Beach, Newport and most coastal cities are being emptied.
EBS isn’t saying why, but most people are assuming mud slides, or something to do with that 8.2 Chilean earthquake. All that’s for sure is that all hell is breaking loose.
The storm had already reached Stateline, and there’s talks of widespread evacuations of many desert towns because of fears of Flash flooding.
Radios continue to have weird interference, and cable is out.
I’ll be amazed if the network holds up for this to get posted.

2:04pm
Roads are being closed, cops are telling people to stay inside.
More lightning without thunder, the girls at the flowershop have noticed it too.
Think we just had an aftershock from the La Habra quake last week, the whole floor rumbled. We thought it was a low helicopter at first, but all air traffic has been grounded.
What the hell is going on?

2:10pm
Cops just told us we are being evacuated to higher ground and away from the hills.
‘We don’t care where you go, just get to higher ground.’
WTF?
Cell network is down. I can’t reach my wife or my kid. Running on WiFi right now. Can anyone let me know if they’re okay?

5:52pm

Wife and daughter are safe, getting home took every bit of street lore that I have.
Elizabeth insists she saw something moving in the clouds. She had a lot of trouble describing it, clouds obscured the view, but she insists it was there.

4-1-14
6:55am

Woke up to rain today, a heavy torrential downpour that I vaguely recall hearing begin last night after we went to bed. Between that and Edison’s snorting, wheezing, protests at realizing he was going to have to get walked in it made for an interesting start to my day. Thank god for coffee, right? Even while driving Elizabeth to work we were hard pressed to see at certain points during the 15 mile drive down to her office in Capistrano. The drive back was even more eventful since people in Southern California can’t drive in a light mist, let alone a god damn torrent like what is outside right now. I saw cars hydroplane and spin more than once, and pointedly made sure to keep myself to the side and moving at no more than 50mph the whole way back home.

Had to ‘Alarm Pug’ Lex to get her out of bed, but when she got up and heard the storm she was grinning. She loves the rain.

The storm is going to complicate work, doing delivery driving in the rain is a big enough pain, but when it’s flowers…uhg.

I doubt I’ll be making any money today at all.

7:21am

Oh great, now there’s thunder and lightning.
Awesome.

8:46am
Jesus Christ! So, dropped off Lex at school and somehow managed to make it to work without getting killed. Damn California drivers, I swear.
I think the storm has actually gotten worse, and the thunder constantly sounds like it’s directly overhead, no matter how far off the lightning is.

9:30am
I’ve been watching the clouds while my orders are getting prepped, gun metal gray masses wrapped in velvet black. This roiling, churning, ebon morass hanging over our head. I can’t believe people are ordering flowers in this shit..

Hey people, so we are going to try an experiment.

As mentioned in a previous post, I’m going to try my hand at a epistolary novel. I’m not going to give you any spoilers, except that it is going to be sci-fi/survival/horror based.
Any time you see a post marked [Storm Wardens], make sure you check back periodically throughout the day for additional edits throughout the day as our intrepid hero chronicles his journey.

Basically, this is something I’m going to be writing and dictating in my downtime while I’m at work. Partly because I want to, partly because it’ll keep me sane on super slow days.

So, remember, if you see a post from me marked [Storm Wardens] to check back frequently to keep abreast of the story as it unfolds!

Oh yeah, it’s going to be that kind of post.

Evangelicals / Atheists

Dear God/Satan/Flying Spaghetti Monster/Yaweh/Buddah/Vishnu/Non-Existent Entity,

Please, please, please, SHUT UP.

No, seriously, you all need to stop. All of you. When every other post from you is about how great god is, or how you think anyone who believes in a God is an idiot, you accomplish exactly two things: You establish that you’re an asshole and YOU FUCKING ANNOY ME.

To my Evangelical (I use this term strictly as a broad stroke of anyone devote of faith) friends, we get it. You have a deep and profound relationship with your higher power, but I swear to fuck some of you need to check your god damned privilege and realize that not everyone is the same fucking faith as you. If you want to spout off about what a ‘miracle it is that XY happened’, save it for your church/temple/synagogue/place of worship or learn to use some god damn Facebook filters. If you want to congratulate me on something, a simple ‘Congratz’ will suffice, I assure you. I don’t need you telling me how ‘blessed’ I am.

To my Atheist friends, STFU. No. Seriously. STFU.
Every time you post how ‘anyone who believes in an invisible sky father is an idiot’, you’re calling me, my wife and my child an idiot.  This doesn’t make you right, nor does it make you insightful or edgy, it makes you a fucking asshole. Every time you rail on Christians, you rail on my wife and my child who do not espouse or believe in the dumbass shit you’re pissed off about that some backwoods ass yokel motherfucker in an aluminum shed church said. My wife and daughter are GOOD Christians, who believe in acceptance and love and NOT BEING SHITTY PEOPLE. Because, you know, that’s what Christianity is really about. Every time you go on one of your ‘God/Christians/Faith is Bullshit’ rants just makes me want to punch you in the mouth, and I like most of you, so I don’t want to…but you’re making it REALLY hard not to. See above regard appropriate places/filters for such things.

Understand, I’m Jew…ish. I’m closer to Agnostic with Jewish Tendencies. I was raised Jewish, but I saw that even MY FAMILIAL FAITH can be turned dark, and that turned me off on it. I haven’t been to services in years, I only go to Family Holiday Events because I’m expected to, and it’s free delicious food. I absolutely believe there MAY be a Higher Power, I just don’t know who/what it is, as such I’m lo to belittle anyones belief system, even yours. But fuck me, guys, come on. All of you could learn to show a little god damn respect and common fucking sense.

Also, it makes you an asshole.

Dear Inconsiderate Motherfuckers That Drive 3 Inches From My Tailpipe,

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING SELF IMPORTANT WEASLE HUMPING SLAG BRAINED MORONS.

I’m a delivery driver, as such I frequently have shit in my car that can get ruined if I take a turn too fast or have to break suddenly such as flowers, food, my wife and my 11 year old little girl. I also do something called, ‘Following The Fucking Law’ and don’t drive 60mph in a god damn 40mph zone, regardless of how far it is between stop lights. I have zero accidents and zero moving violations on my record, because I’m not a self important fuck weasel. I drive my car for a living, to help make ends meet for my family and because I genuinely enjoy it. I also drive better than YOU DO. Every time one of you egomaniacal fucktards tailgate me, then swing around and gun the engine on your car, I hope (silently) that you crash and end up like Paul Walker, because you’re going to one day.

I would also like to add that PICK UP TRUCKS ARE NOT FUCKING SPORTS CARS AND IF YOU DRIVE A TRUCK LIKE IT IS A WRX YOU DESERVE THE WRECK YOU GET INTO.

Like this guy.

Seriously, just stop.

The next one of you who posts another god damn faulty infographic or internet meme about Obama is getting kicked in the fucking head.

Yes, I’m dead serious about this.

Boot. To. The. Head.

Barack Obama is not a Muslim, and even if he was it is permissible under the Freedom of Religion…because, you know, America?
Barack Obama is not Hitler, when he kills 6 million members of a particular ethnic/religious minority and begins executing political prisoners/homosexuals/homeless/gypsies, then we can talk. Until then, Hitler is Hitler, and fuck you for degrading an atrocity that afflicted MILLIONS of people just for shock value you stupid fuck.
Barack Obama is not a Communist, that was Stalin and Putin. See above.
Barack Obama is not a Socialist, that was Mussolini. See above.
Barack Obama is not the Antichrist.

Just shut the fuck up, admit that either you really don’t like his policies, democrats or that you just hate that we have a black president that isn’t named Morgan Freeman and move the fuck on.

See what I did there?

Not every off-color statement about those who share your sexual preference is homophobic/transphobic/purple monkey-phobic.

It’s not.

You’re annoying.

STFU.

PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES. THEY’RE NOT AFRAID OF YOU, THEY’RE JUST BIGOTED FUCKHEADS.

Also, just because some celeb calls a paparazzi a ‘cocksucker’ doesn’t mean they’re bigoted, it means they were pissed off and used a word.

For gods sake, my LGBT friends and cohorts, PICK YOUR FUCKING BATTLES.
If all you do is focus on, ‘OMFG SOANDSO SAID THIS AND THEN HEANDHE DID THAT AND WE SHOULD PROTEST ALL THE THINGS’ all you do is set the movement back because now the world doesn’t take you seriously.

Oh, and you’re probably as much an asshole as the dumbshit you’re frenzying over.

And before any of you claim I ‘don’t know or understand’ what I’m talking about:

  • One of the Groomsmen at my wedding was a gay man, who has been in a loving relationship with his husband longer than most of my friends relationships combined.
  • A dearly departed friend of mine for over 10 years was a Lesbian, whom I introduced to the woman who would’ve been her wife.
  • Roughly two dozen of my friends identify as LGBTQ+.
  • I have multiple LGBT family members.

Am I gay or LGBT?
No.
But I’ve been in and an ally to the movement since before most of you knew what the term ‘activism’ meant. So, please, STFU.

 

At this point, I’m sure I could rant more, but I have to be up at 4:45am, so I’m calling it a day.

New Job, New Schedule

Posted: March 20, 2014 in Uncategorized

Hey there awesome, loyal, wonderful followers and friends!

A few days ago, my wife shot me an email about a job opening at a local florist shop for a delivery driver/shop assistant.

Well, I got it. Pays way better than my old Catering job and I’m working at least 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

However, this development means a major overhaul in the overall family schedule, so please forgive the silence while this all gets works out and adjusted to. I’m hoping to be posting daily once more next week, but we’ll see what works out.